Where'd ya go?

I'm very sad that people can be so quick to judge and disown you and you didn't even realize you were doing something so 'horribly wrong'.  Without warning even.  Everything seemed to be just fine, aside from the normal 'tensions', but gee.....when you just visited with that person, spent time with them, no arguments of any kind and when it was time to say goodbyes until next time, both people even exchanged I love yous.....apparently one was way more sincere than the other.  What in the world???

What really baffles me is that as a Christian, I may not be perfect, but I never claimed to be perfect.  I may not always be right either, but again, I never claimed to always be right.  I am finite, I make mistakes and I do 'dumb'.  Maybe more often than not and more often than others, but that's who I am and that's something that I pray God will help me with through my life.  I get it, I know that there are a lot of people out there that have very opposing views from mine.  I don't hate them.  I don't dislike them.  I love them.  Maybe not their views so much, but because they are open and willing to talk with me and share who they are.  I love that and I love hearing their differing perspectives, right or wrong.  It's not my place to judge them and say that I am better than they are so they are no longer aloud in my life.  If I truly feel they are doing something that is 'wrong' or shouldn't be condoned, that's when I pray more for them during my personal time with God.  Not spit in their face or make them feel bad because I disagree w/them in some way.  That's how I would want to be treated, not put down or hated and disowned all of a sudden because I'm supposedly a really 'sucky' person, for lack of better wording.

I love going to church and listening to what the bible has to say and being interpreted to me through my Pastor's words.  We had a guest speaker last week from Liberia and I have to say, AMEN!  His main points were to have patience, know that the same situation can be seen in so many different perspectives and that although our trials in life may be tough, we most likely don't even know the beginning of what is truly tough.  Especially when you think back to your Parents or your Grandparents and what they had to endure throughout their life.  I hope to never have to go through that and will continue to count my blessings even through my own personal 'storms'.  Something for this person to think about since my actions apparently seem to be on that level of horrible.  Not to say their life didn't have it's ups and downs, they really should see what they do have and be thankful and not so consumed by their anger and hate towards others and their 'sins' or being crappy people.  I really wished this person could open their eyes and see that I really do love them, really am proud of their accomplishments in their life and only want the best for them and would do anything to help them if it were necessary.    

This personal issue is just that, one of my many 'storms' of life I suppose.  This one tends to hit harder than others because the person who has decided to disown me is someone I truly look up to, love so much, am so proud of and would do anything for them and their family.  Why they never saw that or believed in me as a good person in some way, is beyond me and it hurts.  Especially because I do not even know what it was I did to upset them so much that they don't want me to be a part of their life or their families.  Not only did I lose one, but I lost those connected to this person as well.  I would like to say more about this issue, but I don't want to reveal to much and or make this person out to be a monster.  I don't think that at all.  Even though it has been made clear that this person doesn't love me anymore, maybe they never really did???  I will always love them and their family.  I will continue to be there for them if they should need me and I will continue to pray. 

Always remember to let those you love, know you love them.  Love them with all you have even if they don't respond or return that love your way.  Then hug yourself and let YOU know how much you love you and how truly blessed in life you are.  Some advice I gave once comes in pretty handy, every night before you go to sleep, think of at least 5 good things that occurred throughout your day or 5 blessings.  If you can count more, you're on a roll, but if you can at least come up with 5 positives about your day and life, then you are doing good.  Maybe you can only come up with a few, but that's still more than none and I know we all have at least 1 good positive blessing in our daily life. Then you go to sleep and end your day on a positive note and wake up the next morning refreshed and hopefully with those blessings still fresh in your mind. 

Fun Adventure Friday w/Jack

I decided on Friday that I was going to surprise Jack w/an adventure to Deanna Rose Farmstead

We had so much fun exploring the different areas!  Here Jack is 'cooking' dinner at the Indian encampment

Jack called this his 'Peetee'.  I love that silly boy!

Petting the calves at the Dairy Farm area.

Jack had to take a 'time out' for a 'serious' picture pose on the cow bench

Playing house at the playground area

We played Batman and Joker on the playground

Every time we go to the farmstead, we have to take a picture here!

Jack decided it was his turn to be the camera man

The butterfly garden was so neat and pretty!!!

 

 

The time has come when my twins are to old to go on adventures such as these, which makes me grateful that I still have a little guy around to play with.  I will not say that I am entirely sad really because I still get to take 'adventures' with my older two, just not the same kind.  We started out on this path and continue to travel the uncharted territories together and thus every new 'trip' we take is always a good one in some form or another.  As they get older their adventures tend to include being on the school football team or track team.  Watching my daughter in her school plays or listening to her sing in her choir concerts.  Taking them on various school field trips or helping them with school projects.  Just a few weeks back we took a fun weekend trip to Omaha just so they could go to a concert.  We made it so fun!  My sister and her family joined us and we added the Omaha Zoo to our itinerary.  These are adventures with my children that I will cherish forever and always and try my hardest to be part of as they grow.  By having the opportunity to do such things w/my older two, helps guide me in the same direction with my little guy.  Maybe his fun days are more extravagant than those my twins had when they were younger, but hey, I've got experience now. :0)  I truly cherish days like this when I can have that one on one time with my babies and follow them around doing what they love.  It helps me to better understand their perspective, learn the things that interest them and what they like and most of all, it allows us to bond and become closer as Mother and Child.  It teaches me that sometimes it's not just talking, but observing and listening to them as we do something that interests them.  In the end, it's something we all had fun doing together and another adventure we can add to our list of accomplishments, store it away in our memory box and start planning the next trip.  Every moment with my children is priceless, the adventure is just an added bonus! :0)  I hope you all are finding your weekends to be full of happy blessings and wonderful adventures!!! 

Spreading Love

Seems like no matter how much I try, I just can not seem to convey to my children, just how much I love them.  The sad thing is, for my twins' birthday the other day, I made them a book made out of playing cards titled, '52 Reason's Why I Love You' & let me tell you, trying to come up w/104 reasons why you love your children in a short period of time is not so easy.  Not that I don't have 52 reasons for each child, as to why I love them, but to label those reasons into minute 'titles' can be challenging.  Especially since I already have such a difficult time just trying to fully express my unconditional love for them in a way that they would truly see & understand.  I'm a very hands on & affectionate Mama.  In fact, I'm pretty sure my kids are super tired of my always kissing them millions of times throughout the day along w/tons of hugs & even 'cutie buns' pinches....yes, I still pinch my kids on the buns even though they probably think they're too old for that.  They will always be my babies w/the cutie buns & I will pinch, if given the opportunity.  All of which are signs of my Motherly love for my babies. 

My parents always said, 'You'll understand when you have kids of your own, but not until than'.....As much as I would like to say, I knew before having kids just how much my parents loved me because I loved them so much, they're probably right.  You really don't know what it is to truly love someone so much until you actually have a child of your own.  It's just a super powerful, uncontrollable, unexplainable feeling.  Up until I had kids, I could hide my emotions from the outside world, now I proudly wear them on my sleeves for the world to see.  There is not a single thing I would NOT do for my children.  If I could give them the world, I would in a heart beat, but to do so might hurt them & so, in so many ways, it's probably good that I can't.  I only want the best for my children, to keep being wonderful, loving, sincere, intelligent good people.  I've never known such unique kids like mine.  They have the world at their fingertips & it's almost like they know it, but have a huge respect for that.  I love it!  I love that about my children.  I want what every Mother wants I'm sure.  That my kids grow up to be successful & happy in life.  When I say successful & happy, sure I want them to obtain good providing jobs, but more than that, I want them to live their life.  I want to see them take on challenges & succeed, choose to do what they want & to be happy with those choices.  Sure I want to see them go off to a good college & get some awesometastic degree, but just the same, if it turns out that what they want to do in life does not require college, I will be supportive of that too....so long as it does not include surfing from one couch to the next in one home to another.  I want them to make plans & have goals they want to achieve & then to achieve those goals head on, but most of all, I want them to do it in a way that does not hurt others nor does it cheat them.  I want them to always know that through out all of their life's journey, they have God to depend on through out all of it & above everyone that they will ever know in life.  I want to see that they truly are respectful of life whether it's theirs or someone else, that they give when they have more than they need, respect everyone they encounter & show the world what it means to be a good person, not just someone who can earn a large pay check.  Although, I don't know any parents out there yet who wouldn't mind their child making good money & being financially independent. :0)  Everything I say, I'm sure could speak for every other parent out there & how they see & feel for their children.  I guess today, I just felt the need to express such feelings on my blog. :0)  Today I will yet again, make it a point to hug my kids as often as possible & squeeze them as tightly as my arms will allow, kiss em' a minimum of 7 times on their cheeks & maybe sneak in a pinch or two on their other 'cheeks'!  haha!  Hope you all have a blessed & wonderful Sunday & a great beginning to the work week ahead!

Superbowl Sunday

Good afternoon!  So the big football game is today.  Giants VS. Patriots.  Gonna be honest.  Not really a fan of either team. :0)  I am a big time BRONCO'S fan!  Denver native so it's been a love affair since birth.  I suppose the Superbowl makes me kind of sad too regardless of who plays.  It's the last game of the season & after today I'll have to wait until August/September for my football again.  I do have to admit, the best football ever would be watching my oldest son play during his school year.  Go Skyeler!!! 

So, who do I want to win today???  Well, I could say Giants because I like Eli, but they're NFC.  I could say Patriots because they're AFC, but they beat my team in the playoffs.  Eh, it really doesn't matter I suppose.  Both teams are obviously great teams w/some great players who played hard to get to the top of this season.  What I'm really looking forward to is the food!!!  I LOVE FOOD & pairing it with a fun game just says 'awesome day'!  So whether your team wins or loses today, whether you have people over or go somewhere to watch it, just remember it's a good day either way! :0)  Happy Sunday!!!

6 Words to Describe My Life

I was reading a friend's blog the other day.  If you get a chance, you definitely should check out Xiomara's page! On one of her recent blogs she had posted a gadget type of deal at the bottom of it asking to describe your life in six words.  I had commented to her that I would have to put some thought into this one & get back to her.  As oppose to hopping back on her page & filling it up w/my jibber-jabber, I have decided that this would make for a good blog.  I had been stuck in a slump this past week due to some unfortunate news I received & being that my blog page says 'Every Day HAPPY w/Siouxxsie' I guess I felt like I couldn't really blog a sad thought.  I think however, I have been able to find a way I can turn my negative/sadness around into something hopefully positive, uplifting & motivational instead.  Having said that, I will now share w/you, 2 six word sentences I came up with that to me feel very fitting in describing my life.

1. I consider my life extremely blessed ~ I think this one is pretty self explanatory, blessed is blessed, is it not? :0)  I can not even begin to add up or recall all the numerous times I have sat back & thought, "I am so blessed to have the family that I do"

"I am so blessed to have all these wonderful friend's in my life". 
"I am so blessed to be where I am in life".
"I am so blessed to have all that I have"!  But most of all,
"I am so blessed to know God & have Him in my life"!
I understand that perhaps religion isn't your thing, organized or lack there of, but for me God is everything.

Through the past couple of years, I had been learning more & more of this through various discussions I would have w/a very dear friend of mine.  We had gone to HS together, but never really kept in touch until a few years back through the wonderful world of computers.  Always so full of such insight & knowledge.  I absolutely adore him & am so amazed & inspired by his faith & just who he became as a person in general.  That was what brought me so down last week.  I had learned through friends of mine that he had passed away suddenly.  This obviously flooded my mind with so many different thoughts, feelings, emotions, you name it!  I was so crushed by the sad news & shocked by the suddenness.  I just wished him a happy birthday literally a few weeks ago.  As I sat & grieved, pouted & felt crummy, it began to dawn on me, "I am so blessed to have had him in my life, if even for a bit period of time".

"I am so blessed to continue to have him in my heart forever".
"I am so blessed that I had the opportunity to be considered a friend by him".
"I am so blessed to be one of the many people in his life that he inspired & motivated".
"I am so blessed to be able to share the things he shared with me".
"I am so blessed to know that some day, we will see each other again".

It took me a few days to come to terms with this & realize that, but I did & I am now happy again & in a better place emotionally.  I continue to pray for his beautiful family that I have also come to love & cherish.  I thank his Mom for bringing up such a beautiful person & for sharing her son with all of us.

Which brings me to my 2nd six word phrase that to me describes my life.

#2. I have been given a choice ~  YUP!  I have, it's true.  Although God, being the Omnipotent One that He is & knowing already what I will choose, still allows me to make that choice!  For a few days there, I chose to be unhappy & sad & grieve the loss of my dear friend, but then I also chose to turn it around & to be accepting, understanding & positive about it all.  I think sometimes we need to be brought to certain levels to obtain other ones.  It's like having to go without something in order to fully appreciate & be thankful when we have it, you know?  I think it's very okay to grieve, it's a part of the healing process.  I think if we try not to grieve, it only holds us back from being able to accept our loss & fully move on in our life.

I completely understand that not every day is a party full of celebrating & cheer, but regardless of how difficult the day may become, it is all in how we choose to look at it & what we choose to learn from it.  I have gained quite a bit of insight out of my life thus far & I'm always finding ways to continue enjoying this journey I am on.  Life is ours to learn, love & enjoy.  As stinky as the bad days are, I always try to find the good in them too.  It's my choice. :0)  So I suppose in conclusion, It's my choice and I choose blessed!  Happy day to you all!!!  Know that I consider myself very blessed to have you in my life.

I think I have decided!

OK, I know last week when I started this blog, the question was basically, to shave, or not to shave?  After hearing a lot of feedback from people, I think it's official, I will NOT be shaving my head.  Maybe some day, but not any time soon. ;0)  Instead, because I am such a Pintrest junky, I saw an awesome idea while on there the other day & tried it out.  I am thinking maybe if I sell these bracelets, I can earn some extra charity money that way?  Maybe not as much as if I would have shaved my hair, maybe more.  Either way I feel good knowing I am at least trying to do something positive & I have found a fun & creative way to do it.  I hope you are all finding yourselves having a great start to this week & that your weekend was enjoyable & relaxing!  Happy Monday!!!

Things Jack says

So, I know all of our kids say some of the silliest things, but I think Jack really takes the cake!  He's constantly spitting things out that I would have never imagined hearing him say & I can't help but crack up.....probably even when I shouldn't.  I have also found that he just might have a wee bit of 'road rage' from driving around w/me.  It's true.  I am guilty as charged.  Oh man!  We'll be driving along & the light will be red so I slow down & stop & if there happens to be a car stopped in front of us, Jack will automatically start yelling at that car to move & get out of the way.  haha!  It seems he doesn't quite understand why Mommy has gotten mad at some people in the past while driving, but he certainly has the 'concept' down. 0_0 

Sometimes when I ask him to take something & put it away or wherever it belongs, his excuse to me will be, "Uh Mom, you have to do it because it makes me too nervous".  Really?  To nervous to put a toy away hu?  Okay, that's a first.  He has such an imagination & he's so creative in his complex ways of thinking.  I absolutely love to hear what he'll say next & try to understand his concept behind it.  We were playing around w/some 3-D movie glasses the other day & I asked him if he wanted to wear the 3-D glasses.  He said he would & asked if he would look cool & I told him yes & put them on.  No sooner did I place them on his head then he got a little upset & said, "Uh Mom, it's not saying tweety like Tweety bird".  That just really made my day!  Now I know a lot of that probably had to do w/my not speaking clearly enough for him to fully understand what was going on, but I just don't know anyone who would have ever come up w/thinking glasses talk like Tweety Bird.

He loves to talk, guess he's got the 'gift of gab' like his Mom. ;0)  We'll be out at the hobby/craft store & sometimes he'll just ask the person who's working there if he can have things or what certain things are used for & why.  He always starts off with, "Uh-excuse me girl or worker person........& then proceed to politely start a conversation of wants & questions.   He also seems to have one heck of a gift for remembering things.  He loves music & has quite a few songs memorized very well & we just love to listen to him singing throughout the house or at the store.  Nothing like listening to your 3yo singing 'Baby, Baby, Baby' by Justin Bieber.  We watch 'Adventure Time w/Finn & Jake in our home too & quite often Jack will request that we say certain lines in order to act out scenes he's recalling from his favorite episodes.  I've been hearing a lot of Niga Higa skits & Amazing World of Gumball scenes lately.  It absolutely amazes me at how wowed I am by his capacity to memorize so much & to retain all of these things.  Just the wonderful ways of how he chooses to use his imagination & interact is so awesome. 

More recently, he has learned that he can express himself through the powers of pen on paper.  He will happily hand myself or one of his siblings a pen w/a card or paper of some sort & start telling us what he needs us to write down & who we are writing it for.  He then hand delivers these messages & runs off excited because it's a new way to communicate & he did it. :0)  The latest message I received from him was a neat little card that said, 'Jack's cup-cake hanatizer (hand sanitizer) is really cool and I love Ollie (his new pet bunny) and can I hold him? ~ Love Jack' 

He's only 3, but already he seems so advanced in his ways of communication.  He's even surprised me with the fact that he can recognize & read various words already!!!  I have to give very big thanxx & recognition to his older siblings for a lot of his advanced smarts.  Not only do I work with him a lot on being creative & learning how to do things, but his older brother & sister are constantly working with him & spending time with him & I adore it!  They may not recognize it now, but one day they will see just how important it was to establish such a close relationship with each other. 

In closing, I suppose I will leave you with a most recent funny conversation between Jack & one of the bankers at our bank:

Banker: 'cough, cough'
Jack: Uh excuse you.
Me: No, no Jack.  You don't say excuse you, you say bless you & that's only when someone sneezes. :0)

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Thursday Family Night!!!

My oldest son, the football star!

Baby JackE w/a 'bro-stache'

My Daughter 'Tebowing'

Okie-dokie....day #2 of blogging.  Let's see how long I can keep this up & or how long it takes for me to figure out the 'blogging world'. It always seems as soon as I am done typing up something to talk about & posting it,  no sooner do I log off & walk away, out of no where thousands of grand ideas pop into my head.  When I finally get around to sit down & blog again, all those grand ideas seem to disappear.  It's a bummer & the pits I tell ya.  I'd take pen & paper with me everywhere, but I lose everything so easily.  Hence the reason why I write lists on my 'palm-pilot' AKA back of my hand!  It certainly doesn't help that I truly consider myself a pre-Alzheimer's/Dementia patient.  Our family is so great at remembering things!  haha!  OK, well maybe some of us, but I would not be in that category.

Speaking of family, that certainly does bring me to my main point of this blog.  MY FAMILY!!!  I am a proud Mother of twins, Skyeler & Patty & also the proud Mother of  my baby Jack!  Awhile back, one thing that we started in our home is 'Family Night'.  Even though every day is technically family night, Thursday is the night I try to do something extra fun, like a favorite meal or add an outing, just something to show my extra attention & love to them, but that definitely doesn't mean every other day of the week is any less time with them.  I hope they know that too.  We just picked a night during the week to make it a point to set aside & dedicate that time to strictly our family.  I will openly admit & honestly say, that this is one very positive thing I did take with me after I got divorced. Just because he is not in the home anymore, does not mean we can not still have family night.  We are still a family! :0)  So, Thursday is our blocked out day to be together.  Anyone asks, 'Sorry, we already have plans that day'.  teehee....even if we don't really have "plans", we will.  Whether it's board games, cards, crafts, movies, hide & seek, etc.  WE WILL BE DOING SOMETHING AS A FAMILY!  We've even gone to the store, purchased 3 cans of cheap shaving cream & had a 'shaving cream war' in the yard.  Certainly a mess, but easy to clean & it didn't smell that bad either.  Sometimes we all just sit on the couch & talk about our day or tell jokes & stories.  haha!  I truly enjoy & look forward to Thursday!  What was once just another day & sometimes not the best day because it can mean you still have one more day until the weekend, it is now a day I look forward too since starting this wonderful tradition!  (Can I say DAY more)?  haha!  I can only hope that as my kids grow older & become more independent of me, they will still remember our family night & maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll still keep Thursday's blocked out to the world, but always open for Mom.  Maybe even start the same type of tradition of their own when they have a family.....Of course that won't be for awhile & I'm definitely in no hurry to see them grow up.  I absolutely love every moment with my kids.  Even if we're all grumpy, at least we're all grumpy together.  haha! 

To do or not to do???

OK, well here I go!  For my first post & attempting to start blogging, I have a question to throw out.  Any & all responses would be greatly appreciated.  As of about a week ago, one of many crazy ideas popped into my mind......what if......I set something up to where I would have a monetary goal in mind & if I reached that said goal, I would shave my head???  Yup!  Shave my head.  I thought that maybe by offering such, considering how long my hair is & how long I've been growing it out, it would make for a great incentive to raise money for 3 very important organizations/people I love.  In doing so, I would be able to help yet another charity, 'Locks of Love' or one like that in which I could donate my long hair for wigs. :0)  It's weighing super heavy on me because I am a baby when it comes to even trimming my hair & speaking of baby, I can tell you right now, my youngest son cried when I was just joking around about cutting a little bit off.  He doesn't like change. haha! I've had some support from friends & some family members, but I've also had people wanting me to really question what it would be like to have no hair for some time.  I don't want to sound selfish or self absorbed, but having a good appearance does go a long way in the work I do.  I deal w/people on a daily basis & maybe they won't want to work with me because I am bald & funny looking.  I just don't know.....to be continued I suppose.  Thank you to all who took the time to swing by my page & read my very first blog ever!!!  Oh my & being that it is Wednesday, a very happy Bon Jovi day to you all!