Where'd ya go?

I'm very sad that people can be so quick to judge and disown you and you didn't even realize you were doing something so 'horribly wrong'.  Without warning even.  Everything seemed to be just fine, aside from the normal 'tensions', but gee.....when you just visited with that person, spent time with them, no arguments of any kind and when it was time to say goodbyes until next time, both people even exchanged I love yous.....apparently one was way more sincere than the other.  What in the world???

What really baffles me is that as a Christian, I may not be perfect, but I never claimed to be perfect.  I may not always be right either, but again, I never claimed to always be right.  I am finite, I make mistakes and I do 'dumb'.  Maybe more often than not and more often than others, but that's who I am and that's something that I pray God will help me with through my life.  I get it, I know that there are a lot of people out there that have very opposing views from mine.  I don't hate them.  I don't dislike them.  I love them.  Maybe not their views so much, but because they are open and willing to talk with me and share who they are.  I love that and I love hearing their differing perspectives, right or wrong.  It's not my place to judge them and say that I am better than they are so they are no longer aloud in my life.  If I truly feel they are doing something that is 'wrong' or shouldn't be condoned, that's when I pray more for them during my personal time with God.  Not spit in their face or make them feel bad because I disagree w/them in some way.  That's how I would want to be treated, not put down or hated and disowned all of a sudden because I'm supposedly a really 'sucky' person, for lack of better wording.

I love going to church and listening to what the bible has to say and being interpreted to me through my Pastor's words.  We had a guest speaker last week from Liberia and I have to say, AMEN!  His main points were to have patience, know that the same situation can be seen in so many different perspectives and that although our trials in life may be tough, we most likely don't even know the beginning of what is truly tough.  Especially when you think back to your Parents or your Grandparents and what they had to endure throughout their life.  I hope to never have to go through that and will continue to count my blessings even through my own personal 'storms'.  Something for this person to think about since my actions apparently seem to be on that level of horrible.  Not to say their life didn't have it's ups and downs, they really should see what they do have and be thankful and not so consumed by their anger and hate towards others and their 'sins' or being crappy people.  I really wished this person could open their eyes and see that I really do love them, really am proud of their accomplishments in their life and only want the best for them and would do anything to help them if it were necessary.    

This personal issue is just that, one of my many 'storms' of life I suppose.  This one tends to hit harder than others because the person who has decided to disown me is someone I truly look up to, love so much, am so proud of and would do anything for them and their family.  Why they never saw that or believed in me as a good person in some way, is beyond me and it hurts.  Especially because I do not even know what it was I did to upset them so much that they don't want me to be a part of their life or their families.  Not only did I lose one, but I lost those connected to this person as well.  I would like to say more about this issue, but I don't want to reveal to much and or make this person out to be a monster.  I don't think that at all.  Even though it has been made clear that this person doesn't love me anymore, maybe they never really did???  I will always love them and their family.  I will continue to be there for them if they should need me and I will continue to pray. 

Always remember to let those you love, know you love them.  Love them with all you have even if they don't respond or return that love your way.  Then hug yourself and let YOU know how much you love you and how truly blessed in life you are.  Some advice I gave once comes in pretty handy, every night before you go to sleep, think of at least 5 good things that occurred throughout your day or 5 blessings.  If you can count more, you're on a roll, but if you can at least come up with 5 positives about your day and life, then you are doing good.  Maybe you can only come up with a few, but that's still more than none and I know we all have at least 1 good positive blessing in our daily life. Then you go to sleep and end your day on a positive note and wake up the next morning refreshed and hopefully with those blessings still fresh in your mind.